Archive | August 20, 2014

WTW: Florida Women Arrested; Encouraged Child to Pee in Shampoo Bottle

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Veronica Cabanas and Cathleen Ibanez were both arrested for driving under the influence last week in Pembroke Pines, Florida. Both women had prescription pills on them without a prescription. Additionally, Cabanas’ daughter was not secured in a child seat, which is required by law.

All of this seems pretty typical for Florida residents, but the events leading up to the arrest were anything but normal.

According to CBS Miami, police were called to a beauty supply store where authorities say Cabanas and Ibanez were “causing a disturbance.”

The disturbance? Cabanas, according to the police report, WAS TRYING TO HAVE HER CHILD URINATE IN A BEAUTY BOTTLE and both women were throwing products around the store.

Let’s just imagine this scene for a moment. Two skanks, driving around Florida drunk and high on pills, on a weekday, decided to drop by the local Sally Beauty with a two-year old. Great day, right? Oh, but then the 2-year old girl had to ruin the fun by asking to go to the bathroom! Why stop the party sweetheart? Just use this bottle of Head and Shoulders and we’ll be on our way!

SEC 2014 Predictions: East and West Champs


Call me Bias. Call me a Homer. Call me a fucking idiot. And then kiss my ass. I AM Bias. I AM a Homer. I AM can be a fucking idiot. But I’m not putting the Dawgs on top of the East because I’m a UGA fan. I’m putting them there because I think they are the best team in a down East. They do have a few question marks in Hutson Mason and their Secondary. The key to Hutson Mason’s success is limiting his mistakes and getting the ball to his playmakers. I also think this what Mason is best at. He knows the system and knows where to go with the ball. And most of all, He has the beast in Todd “TG3” Gurley behind him. Gurley is THE BEST RB in the country. The Dawgs will go as far as TG3 carries them.

As for the Defense and specifically the Secondary, I think Jeremy Pruitt is the Defensive Coordinator UGA has been looking for since BVG. He is demanding and a winner. I don’t think he’ll be afraid to get in their face and “Motherfuck” someone. He and Richt got rid of the punk ass kids who would rather goof around than contend for National Championships and made the entire D start from scratch. After the Grantham “Era” that’s exactly what they needed.

PREDICTION: 11-1 (7-1 in SEC)

SEC West Champs: Alabama Crimson Tide

Damn that’s some serious Hardware. Love em or Hate em…everyone is jealous of their success. When you have been the best team in College Football damn near year in and year out your gonna be hated. And especially when you have dipshit redneck pieces of shit fans. Not all Bama fans. I have plenty of Bama friends. And they will even be the 1st to say they have some piece of shit fans. But between them, Saban, and those rings, Alabama is the most hated team in College Football. And Guess what? You’re gonna hate them again this year.

I think the West will be decided again by the Iron Bowl. However, with the game being in Tuscaloosa this year and the Kick Six from last year, no way Saban doesn’t have his team ready for redemption.

The Crimson Tide still don’t know who will be their starting QB this year but with the RB’s (Yeldon, Henry, and Drake) they have, I could probably play QB and win 9 games. Sims and Coker will probably both see plenty of time this season. Their D will be tough as always, that is what Saban and Bama are known for. It won’t be as easy for Bama as past years but I still give them the “Upper Hand” because of the Upper Hand.

PREDICTION: 11-1 (7-1 in SEC)


Hard Knocks: Episode 3 Recap


Aside from the third trimester abortion against the Texans and losing Sam Baker for the entire year (which might not actually be a bad thing), this is a damn good episode.

The first ten minutes of the show looked more like a medical documentary than a show about football. Marquis Spruill apparently signed a waiver allowing HBO to film his ACL surgery, and holy shit did they ever invade his space. In a scene not for the weak stomach, the cameras get up close and personal, cleaning shit out of the knee, screwing shit in the knee, and grafting skin to cover shit on the knee. It was fucking sick. 

Some boring footage of Steven Jackson in the pool and Kroy Biermann dipping comes next, but what followed afterwards was flat out shocking:  Defensive line coach Bryan Cox has a 30 year old daughter.

Bryan Cox is 46.

“I told you, I started fucking when I was 10,” Cox said defiantly, as he scolded one player for following his daughter on Instagram.

Next, Falcons fans finally get some footage of their beloved Julio Jones and Matt Ryan, who actually drops several F-bombs in this episode and even tells a dirty joke.

The Falcons then traveled to Houston to practice with and play a preseason game against the Texans. The game itself was awful, with the Birds getting their asses handed to them. Starting left tackle Sam Baker tore his patellar tendon and is out for the season. 

Some other highlights:

  • Jake Matthews is the real fucking deal. He took on JJ Watt in practice and held his own. Fuckin stud.
  • William Moore has decent freestyle skills.
  • Harry Douglas, despite his horrible bowling technique in which he throws the ball about 10 feet in the air, with spin, appears to be a damn good bowler.
  • TJ Yates doesn’t know the playbook worth a shit, but everyone in the Texans organization loves him.
  • Devonta Freeman continues to look like a legitimate starting running back in the NFL.
  • Mike Smith still wears  awful sandals