Huffington: There’s a time to standoff and a time to get off — this Florida couple chose both. Ryan Patrick Bautista, 34, and Leanne Hunn, 30, allegedly refused to surrender to police until they could have sex together one last time. A standoff began Wednesday night when Jacksonville Sheriffs responded to a call about Michael Forte, 34, who was wanted on several warrants including armed burglary, reports. A Jacksonville Sheriffs Office spokeswoman said deputies were also looking for Bautista, who also had several warrants, including armed burglary. Bautista and Hunn reacted to the police visit by barricading themselves inside a mobile home and refusing to leave for more than six hours, according to News4Jax.com. Three other adults were inside the home at the time police arrived, but one woman was allowed to leave a short time later. Police said Hunn and Bautista detained another woman by dragging her to a back bedroom where she was held down, according to the website. That woman was eventually allowed to leave, but Hunn and Bautista refused to exit the mobile home. Hostage negotiators were called to the scene and attempted to communicate with the couple via phone and bullhorns, according to . At some point during the standoff, Hunn told police she would give herself up but not until she had sex with Bautista “one last time,” according to the website.
Well my White Trash Wednesday may have taken a hiatus but that didn’t keep Floridians from doing White Trash shit. One look at these two and you could bet the farm (or the meth lab in Flordian’s case) that these two were busted in a mobile home in Florida. I will give them some credit though on their GENIUS plan before surrendering. I mean if you know the cops are waiting to take you to jail for a long time, how do you not get one more smash session in? That’s a criminal using his head (pun intended). Great opening line by the writer of the article too…”There’s a time to standoff and a time to get off — Florida couple chose both.” I don’t know why you don’t hear more story’s like this. Probably because most criminals are idiots. You hear about all these hostage situations where the suspect is making demands like a million dollars to an offshore account, or a plane, or reduced charges, or whatever. This guy had the right idea. Fuck it if I’m headed to the slammer for a substantial amount of time, I’m pounding some pussy. The cops can’t even fight you on that one, they were probably like “Okay dude you have 5 minutes”. The man then thought “Awesome that’ll give me enough time to shower too”…who am I kidding, this guys doesn’t shower. I know this wasn’t a hostage situation but all criminals need to take note.
TSG– A Florida trio is facing narcotics manufacturing charges after one of the suspects pocket-dialed 911 and a police operator stayed on the line for nearly half-an-hour listening to them “talking about making and selling methamphetamine,” according to a police report. The operator, cops noted, also detected a “bubbling sound as if something was cooking.” Investigators traced the call early Saturday to a shed in the backyard of a home in Deltona, a city 30 miles north of Orlando. When Volusia County Sheriff’s Office deputies peered into an open window, they spotted material indicating that the shed housed a methamphetamine lab, including a “bottle that appeared to be smoking.” Additionally, white smoke billowed from the shed. Deputies raided the structure and arrested Donna Knope, 55; Jason Knope, 32; and Thomas Stallings, 41, for manufacturing and possessing methamphetamine. A search of the shed, cops noted, yielded “all of the makings of an active meth lab, including coffee filters, a butane torch, batteries, drain opener, plastic tubing, hypodermic needles, lithium strips, lighter fluid, plastic bags and numerous plastic bottles containing a white substance.” Investigators do not know which of the suspects inadvertently tipped them to the existence of the meth operation. The Knopes–Donna is Jason’s mother–live in the home behind which the meth lab was operating. Stallings, who lives at another Deltona residence, is currently on probation in connection with a burglary conviction. During the 911 call, the police dispactcher reported, a man who identified himself as “Tommy” stated that he was on probation and complained that a police official “had been watching him.”
Ok so I took a little hiatus from the blog because work got a little busy. But I’m Back Mothafuckas!! And what a way to come back with a White Trash Wednesday!! And once again it’s our lovely White Trash Friends from the Sunshine State. Is there a better family bonding activity to do than Cook Meth? Not in Florida. That’s how they roll. And of course one of them butt dialed the cops. You can’t make that shit up. Fucking idiots. And I’m pretty sure probably 75% of sheds in Florida are Meth Labs.
Huffington: The Jackson County Sheriff’s Office responded last Sunday after reports that three people were screaming out of a home, claiming to have been taken hostage. WMBB reports that authorities arrived at the residence and were told that the three supposed victims — 18-year-old Madison Douglas, 21-year-old Damian Hines, and 30-year-old Matthew McDaniel — had been taken hostage for several hours. They were also told the supposed hostages were shot at in the home. Police soon discovered that the group had in fact hallucinated while on meth. Douglas said she had been stabbed by a suspect, but authorities said she had only a light scratch on her abdomen that was self-inflicted. Numerous windows were shot out and holes were shot in the walls. They completely removed a large rear window from the house on the second floor and threw the bathroom sink at the imaginary attackers. Chunks of sheetrock, wood, firearm parts, and anything they could tear out of the residence was thrown outside including the toilet, which was ripped from the floor. In total, more than $10,000 damage was done to the residence.
Florida is Back!!! Only thing they are good for is Beach Trips and White Trash Wednesday. Florida is the “Alabama Fan” of States. They are just so easy to make fun of. I mean stories like this happen on the regular. Just 3 Floridians fucked out of their minds on Meth. I know if I was a Meth Head freaking the fuck out thinking I was being taken hostage, I would head straight to the bathroom and start ripping shit apart and throw it out the windows. I mean, they must’ve had some super human Meth Head strength to just rip up a sink and toilet and toss them into the yard. That’s normal right? Fucking Meth…Fucking Florida.
Gawker: Christopher Buckner, 20, and her half-brother, Timothy Savoy, 25, were arrested by Effingham County, Ga. police after they admitted to having had sex three times in a tractor trailer parked outside of a church. The two apparently told the officer that they decided to have sex after watching The Notebook
Since I have a real job I could get to the White Trash Wednesday until today, but man am I glad I waited. Doesn’t get any White Trashier than this. And fucking disgusting. God Damn it why did this have to happen in Georgia. Well they can pretty much guarantee they are going straight to Hell. Nothing like a night of watching the Notebook, With your sibling, In your Tractor Trailor, Outside a Church, and then…BARF!!!! I just threw up all over my keyboard. And 3 TIMES?!! There is a very hot place in hell for sicko’s like this.
Veronica Cabanas and Cathleen Ibanez were both arrested for driving under the influence last week in Pembroke Pines, Florida. Both women had prescription pills on them without a prescription. Additionally, Cabanas’ daughter was not secured in a child seat, which is required by law.
All of this seems pretty typical for Florida residents, but the events leading up to the arrest were anything but normal.
According to CBS Miami, police were called to a beauty supply store where authorities say Cabanas and Ibanez were “causing a disturbance.”
The disturbance? Cabanas, according to the police report, WAS TRYING TO HAVE HER CHILD URINATE IN A BEAUTY BOTTLE and both women were throwing products around the store.
Let’s just imagine this scene for a moment. Two skanks, driving around Florida drunk and high on pills, on a weekday, decided to drop by the local Sally Beauty with a two-year old. Great day, right? Oh, but then the 2-year old girl had to ruin the fun by asking to go to the bathroom! Why stop the party sweetheart? Just use this bottle of Head and Shoulders and we’ll be on our way!
A woman caught stealing at a DeLand, Florida Walmart handed the merchandise to the employees who stopped her…but then walked out, leaving her two small children behind! (Note: DeLand is the hometown of Chipper Jones).
According to the Daytona Beach News Journal, 26-year-old Rebecca Stoltz was arrested and charged with child abuse, neglect of a child and first-degree petty theft.
After refusing to cooperate with loss prevention officers, Stoltz handed over the $44 worth of stolen goods, and then left in a silver Nissan car without the children. A “friend” later stopped by and tried to pick up the kids, who were reportedly crying inside the store. Stoltz eventually returned and was arrested at the store.
On the bright side, at least she got a few hours of free daycare out of the deal.
Huffington – I think I just found Famous Jameis Winston’s soul mate. They can be the fucking Bonnie and Clyde of jacking Shellfish. At least Jameis was going to eat the crab legs. This dirty, skanky, disgusting, white trash bitch said she was planning on trading the Lobster Tails for either a Chinese Buffet meal or some Prescription PKs. Yeah right bitch. You ain’t fooling nobody. You know, I know, we all know you weren’t trading Lobster Tails for Chinese Dog Buffet. You had your dead black meth eyes set on some PKs. I mean that’s probably a fair trade.
This story made me laugh.
Thirty-six year old Richard Campagna, of Winter Haven, Florida, was arrested at the Legoland Water Park and charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest.
According to The Ledger, deputies were called to the park after Campagna, who appeared drunk (SHOCKER!), refused to leave the park after being told to do so by the water park staff.
What happened next is classic white trash theater.
Instead of cooperating with the deputies, Campagna dove into the park’s lazy river, splashed a police officer with water, and squawked like a fucking bird as several children watched. After attempts to subdue Campagna with a Taser failed, he was eventually apprehended by several officers.
When asked his name following detainment, Campagna promptly replied, “Pterodactyl.”
Gotta love Florida.
This one might be the best yet…
According to tcpalm.com, 45-year-old Luonna Goldstein was arrested following a traffic stop in Fort Pierce, Florida on suspicion of DUI.
What gave it away?
When asked for her drivers license, Goldstein handed over a DVD, repeatedly tried to start her car, despite the fact that it was already running, and then attempted to kiss the officer upon exiting the vehicle.
She later blew a .249 on the breath test, more than three times the legal limit.
When questioned by the officer about her alcohol consumption, Goldstein, a caucasian who was driving a 1997 Pontiac, continuously responded, “Nigga please. Nigga please.”
Perhaps the officer thought it was a Cadillac.
A Florida man was arrested after purchasing a new laptop at Best Buy. Wait, what?
According to NBC News out of Boynton Beach, Florida, it turns out that 38-year-old Jason Schrager bought a new Mini Mac, and then asked the Geek Squad to transfer over the data from four laptops.
The catch? The four laptops contained more than 20 photos of young girls in sexual poses.
Detectives said a forensic examination of the computers uncovered multiple searches for child pornography along with the photos of girls ages 6 to 11. Shrager was charged with 10 counts of possession, police said.
Jesus. What a dipshit. Here’s how I imagine this went down:
Schrager: “Yeah, uh, can you fellers put the stuff on these computers on to that new one right there?”
Geek Squad Guy: “Of course, sir. I’d be happy to.”
Schrager: “Even the pictures?”
Geek Squad Guy: “Yes sir, the pictures will be easy. Here, I’ll show you how it’s do—….WHOA! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
Schrager: “Oh, that there’s my niece. We play dress up all the time.”