Hard Knocks Episode 1 Recap

Editor’s Note: This post is written by a lifelong Falcons fan and will be biased. 

Summary:  The first episode began by featuring a series of players, almost all of whom are very insignificant, and the journeys they took to get to training camp. As predicted, Kroy Biermann and his whore “reality star” wife Kim Zolciak were filmed. Once everyone gets to camp, football begins, Steven Jackson makes a speech to the other running backs, and then promptly pulls his hammy. The narrator takes some time to introduce the coaching staff, Mr. Blank, and Thomas Dimitroff. Oklahoma drills, set to EDM music ensue. HBO then has a nice juxtaposition between William Moore and rookie Devonta Freeman by featuring Moore’s gaudy Atlanta mansion next to footage of Freeman looking for a cheap-ass tiny apartment. The team plays a scrimmage at an Atlanta area high school on a Friday night; Matty, Roddy, and Julio all look good. Second Rounder Ra’Shede Hageman gets his ass kicked all scrimmage and looks out of shape. The episode ends with Smitty telling the team that “a lot of mistakes were made [during the scrimmage], but the effort was great.”

Highlights: There are many fights during camp – Biermann takes his frustration out on first rounder Jake Matthews when he can’t get around him during practice, Joe Hawley goes after rookie Jaques Smith. Smitty’s reaction to Jackson’s injury is priceless. Without saying so, he seems to be saying, “yep, that piece of shit is hurt again.” New OL and DL coaches Mike Tice and Bryan Cox are intense. Roddy talks a lot of shit to Willy Mo during practice.

Surprises: Steven Jackson paints pictures. Matt Ryan drives a Benz. Mike Smith wears awful sandals (see pic above). 2009 First Round Pick Peria Jerry retires. Everyone is shocked. When asked by Mike Smith if he has a plan, Jerry responds, “I’m probably gonna just work, do something with my family. Imma figure it out.” Great plan dude. Sounds like you’ve really thought this through.Your career was garbage.

Commentary: Just as I suspected, the Falcons are pretty boring and HBO tries pretty hard to make the team interesting. I love it. Can’t wait for episode 2.