Archive | July 21, 2014

Chip Caray With The “Disc/Dick” Slip Up Tonight

Via Barstool: That a boy Chip. That wasn’t a slip up. I bet he always wanted to say “Bulging Thoracic Dick” live on the air. If your describing a Dick, I mean Disc, it has to be Bulging. Welcome Back El Oso Blanco from that painful injury that kept you out for 2 weeks. Should’ve called a doctor after 4 hours though.

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SEC Media Days Recap…Part 4

Day 4 at SEC Media Day last week featured UGA, Ole Miss, Kentucky, and Alabama. Which means the Alabama Crazies came from all over the state to infest Hoover. Nick Saban could barely get in the door without Tide fans trying to grab his dick. Always keeping it Classy!!

GEORGIA

Mark Richt is the SEC most tenured coach, currently on his 14th season as Head Coach of the Dawgs. The #1 topic for UGA this year is the loss of Aaron Murray 4 years of starting and breaking nearly every SEC passing record. The unknown is Hutson Mason. CMR has all the confidence in the world in Mason after backing up Murray and learning Mike Bobo’s system for 4 years.

One of the other obvious topics of conversation was the off season of transfers by their secondary. MCR’s response “We feel like we’re going to be just fine.” He definitely opened up on that one. Honestly though I think he is perfectly fine with what they are doing. New DC Jeremy Pruitt knows exactly what he’s doing and this years D will be much improved from last year despite the losses.

This season though is all about TG3. Beast RB Todd “TG3” Gurley was in the building as a player representative. TG3 is unquestionably one of, if not the Best RB in college football this year. Let the TG3 for Heisman Campaign begin.

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OLE MISS

Hugh Freeze is back for his 3nd SEC Media Days. Hugh and the Rebels had a pretty good season in 2013 after a stellar recruiting class that preceded. Freeze talked about his surprising first 2 seasons and probably the best returning QB in the conference in Bo Wallace. The Rebels have a lot of young talent that will be entering their 2nd year in Oxford. If there is a year for Ole Miss to shock the Nation and contend for and SEC West title, this might be it. Hey, and if Ole Miss struggles on the field, they always have…

KENTUCKY

UK Coach Mark Stoops was the last coach to speak at Media Days. I’m surprised they did that because who the hell wanted to stick around after 4 long days to hear about Kentucky’s upcoming Football season. Anyways, Stoops announced that UK would go to a turf field at Commonwealth Stadium in 2015. That’s the big news in Lexington. I’m sure someone asked a question about the basketball team and what 5 Star recruits Coach Cal had coming in this season. After October Kentucky fans be like…

ALABAMA

Almost as entertaining as paint fucking drying is Nick Saban. At least there are Alabama Fan’s to give everyone a laugh and remind all of us how blessed we really are. There honestly can’t be a more retarded fan base in the country. Listen, I have friends that are Bama fans and they are fine (not retards), but as a collective group…Holy Shit. Scum of the earth rednecks that really make you feel good about yourself. I get that Hoover is right in their back yard but I really want to know how many Bama Fans either lost their jobs for No Call No Show or requested time off work to show up at SEC Media Days just to get a look at Nick Saban and hopefully touch his dick. I mean get a load of this guy who saved up all year to buy this $300 Ring Hat.

(Laken Litman, USA TODAY Sports)

Zach Mettenberger Sucker Punched at Popular Nashville Bar

 

Tennessean – Tennessee Titan’s 6th Round Pick from LSU, Zach Mettenberger was sucker punched by non other than an Alabama fan this past weekend at Losers in Nashville. Mettenberger was minding his own business at the popular Losers Bar in Midtown when some chump redneck POS Bama fan yells “Roll Tide” to the former LSU QB. Met responded with “Good Luck with that” and then the guys buddy sucker punched him in the eye. What a pussy!!! I live in Nashville and it’s a town where most Celebs can go wherever without being harassed. It is the middle of SEC Country too with Fans from every school all over town. Fan on Fan fights are okay. But when you start sucker punching a guy because he played for your rival school, you deserve to get fucking Curbed. The worst part is that the little fuck boy punched Met and darted out the door. Talk about a bitch move. If you’re gonna sucker punch someone you better man up and stick around for the 6-5 230 lb man to gather himself  and have the chance to fuck you up. If I see you around town Zach, I’ll buy you a beer. After going to that UGA v LSU game last year, I got nothing but respect. Go DAWGS!!

 

Alabama Family Names Daughter “Alliegh Bama” and Dooms Her For Life

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Just another fucking reason to HATE Alabama and the Crimson Tide. Oh and speaking of Crimson Tide, Alliegh Bama’s older brother is named…you got it, Crimson Tide. If spanking your kids get Social Services called on you now, then naming your kids something that will doom them for life should also. You want to name your Dog Crimson Tide or Alliegh Bama, go for it. But these kids have to live their entire lives with Stupid Fucking Names. Can’t wait until that first HR Manager gets their resume and shares a laugh with the entire office. I’m guessing 18 years from now Alliegh will be working at the local BP with her 2nd child on the way and Crimson will either be the father, locked up, or both. I’m going with Both.

Video of Falcons New Stadium Will Give You Wood

A video of the Falcons new stadium and its projected appearance has been making the Internet rounds lately. Here it is in all its glory for those who haven’t seen it.

There’s a lot to take in – the soft piano music intro, Arthur Blank and his creepy Walt Disney mustache, shots of ATL landmarks, the Dirty Birds emerging from the tunnel before kickoff, heavier hype music, crowd noise, and then, HOLY SHIT THE STADIUM!!!

The architecture and engineering for the retractable roof will blow your fucking mind. The 360 degree jumbo-tron at the apex of the stadium is like a headband with a shitload of lights and words. We all saw this stuff months ago when the new stadium was announced, but to see it in video…WOW.

The day laborers at EVERY QUIKTRIP IN GEORGIA have gotta be drooling with the amount of work that this, the College Football Hall of Fame, and the Braves new stadium down the road in Cobb will soon generate.