Archive | July 9, 2014

Angry Brazil Fan does the Rational Thing and Smashes his TV

Soccer Fans are fucking insane. I’m honestly surprised there weren’t riots in the streets yesterday after that debacle. I posted yesterday that I thought there would be mass suicides. Haven’t heard any reports on that yet but there was this guy. I love the old man pleading with him to stop (I don’t know Portuguese but…) but he was no match for an outraged and I’m guessing drunk Brazilian Soccer nut. By the look of it though he wasn’t doing a great job though. I was waiting for him to give it an Atomic Leg drop or jump off the car with an Elbow like Macho Man off the top rope. Instead he just picked up that heavy ass 60″ and slammed it over and over and over. I couldn’t even tell if it was getting damaged. I’ve punched some walls and thrown drinks and fought people and cried myself to sleep over games but no way am I abusing a mans prized possession. I guess its better than Poisoning a Sacred Tree though, huh Auburn fans.

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Kate Upton Votes Black Brother Justin For All-Star, As Should You

Justin Upton is one of 5 National Leaguers on the ballot for the final fan vote in this year’s All-Star Game in Minnesota.

Upton currently trails Justin Morneau of the Rockies and Anthony Rizzo of the Cubs for the final spot on the roster, but he got a little bit of help from some supermodel named Kate, with whom he shares the same last name.

This isn’t the first time the pair has been linked. Sports Illustrated’s 2013 baseball preview featured Justin and Kate, along with black sheep BJ, on its cover. Click here to see their photo shoot / pictures of Kate’s Canons and chicken legs.

It remains to be seen whether or not Kate’s help will propel Upton into the game, but it sure as shit can’t hurt.

Braves fans can vote for Upton here, or tweet  over and over again until they get carpal tunnel syndrome.

White Trash Wednesday: Florida Woman Did What???

Luonna Goldstein

This one might be the best yet…

According to tcpalm.com, 45-year-old Luonna Goldstein was arrested following a traffic stop in Fort Pierce, Florida on suspicion of DUI.

What gave it away?

When asked for her drivers license, Goldstein handed over a DVD, repeatedly tried to start her car, despite the fact that it was already running, and then attempted to kiss the officer upon exiting the vehicle.

She later blew a .249 on the breath test, more than three times the legal limit.

When questioned by the officer about her alcohol consumption, Goldstein, a caucasian who was driving a 1997 Pontiac, continuously responded, “Nigga please. Nigga please.”

Perhaps the officer thought it was a Cadillac.