Archive | July 8, 2014

Emergency Alert!! Entire Country of Brazil is on Suicide Watch

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You want to talk about completely shitting the bed…That was the worst start to a big time sporting event since Super Bowl XLVIII when the Broncos forgot to show up against the Seahawks (that one still hurts). But 5 goals in the first 29 minutes of Soccer is like scoring 100 before halftime in Football. And at least that game was at a neutral site. I almost blogged on the Brazil National Anthem before the game when the entire stadium was singing. That shit gave me goose bumps. I don’t know if a fan base, let alone and entire country, has ever gone from a higher high to more of a kick in the dick in a shorter span of time. (Goal #7 was just scored as I was writing this).

No fucking lie, I am willing to guarantee there will be more suicides in Brazil tonight than an entire month combined. I’m surprised they stuck around for the rest of the game though. US fans of any sport would’ve hit the parking lot before half time. That stadium would’ve been a ghost town. Hey on the bright side of things, Brazil spent $15 Billion on the World Cup instead of towards education or anything else that would’ve helped the Brazilian people. Ok maybe not such a bright side. They still have Gisele.

PS. If I’m a German fan in Brazil right now, I’m hiding in my hotel until I can get the quickest flight out of that bitch. Definitely not celebrating in front of those crazy ass soccer fans. Just keep your head down and go.