Admit it. We really don’t care about soccer.

I’ve seen many a tweets and Facebook posts since our heartbreaking loss to Belgium yesterday, trying hard to make a case for the improvement of our soccer program.  

“We will get better because we are America and we won’t stand for mediocrity!”   “We should encourage the youth to attend soccer camps early on!” “We must strive to be on top of the soccer world!”

Curb your enthusiasm folks.

I’ve been hearing this same shit since 1990. “The U.S. Soccer program is on the rise,” or “just wait until we get (ENTER COACH HERE) on board and we will compete with the big boys.”

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE MY COUNTRY, much more than some hipster fuck who paints a flag on his face and wears goofy pants, but let’s be perfectly honest – We backed our way into the second round of The World Cup and had no business being on the field with Belgium. I would love nothing more than to see us dominate the Eurotrash in soccer, but it ain’t gonna happen.

I will remain content with us kicking the shit out of everyone in basketball and hosting the most popular sports league on the planet, the NFL. I’m perfectly fine knowing that the best sports figures of all time are American baseball players.

So yes, get caught up in the moment. I get it. It was great to see our guys beat Ghana and come within an eyelash of taking down Portugal and that eyebrow-waxing puke Ronaldo. But if we push and push, and shove soccer down everyone’s throats, here’s what will happen – we will start losing our best athletes from other sports to play a fucking European game.

Basketball has already had this affect on baseball. Do you think Dave Winfield, Barry Bonds, or Tony Gwynn would have played Major League Baseball if the NBA was what it is today back in their youth? What about Hank Aaron and Willie Mays? Fuck no they wouldn’t.

So let’s try it with soccer. Imagine if the parents of Lebron James, Mike Trout, Tiger Woods, and Peyton Manning were one of these Facebook-posting idiots?


This would suck so bad. We’d all be watching C-Span and reruns of The Big Bang Theory.

 So let’s just calm down and admit it: We only give a god damn about soccer once every four years, and it should stay that way.

PS. Tim Howard was a BEAST yesterday.


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