Who Needs a Stash House When You’ve Got Fat Rolls?

AJCA 450-pound Florida man was arrested Friday after he hid drugs between his stomach’s fat rolls, deputies said.A Volusia County sheriff’s deputy originally pulled over Christopher Mitchell and Keithian Roberts on State Road 415 in Osteen because Mitchell didn’t appear to be wearing his seat belt. Mitchell told the deputy he was too large to wear a seat belt. The deputy, however, noticed both men “acting nervously,” according to reports. A drug-detecting K-9 was brought to the scene. The deputy found cocaine and 23 grams of marijuana hidden underneath Mitchell’s stomach fat, a handgun, and more than $7,000 cash stuffed into a tube sock, according to sheriff’s reports. Roberts was charged with possession of cocaine, and Mitchell was charged with possession of marijuana and cited for not wearing his seat belt. The bust was part of a bigger crime detail in the area, deputies said. The operation led to nearly two dozen arrests for drugs, speeding and other offenses.

Can’t knock the hustle. Shit, I’m sure big boy didn’t think some cop was gonna go mining through his fat rolls to find the stash. I’m willing to bet he didn’t even know his stash was there. He probably said to himself “oh there’s those dime sacks”.  For the rest of us, it was probably like finding a $2o bill in your laundry, except the whole going to jail aspect. And did I read it right that he was pulled over for not wearing a seat belt? Yeah no shit he wasn’t wearing a seat belt. He can barely fit into a car let alone fit a seat belt around his big ass. Not like he’d go flying through a windshield.

My mind is still blown that he could fit some blow and nearly an ounce of bud under his fat rolls. I’m guessing they found a shoe, 5 chicken leg bones, and my cat that went missing when I was 8 but that wasn’t quite “news worthy”,


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